Monday, 3 February 2014

My Naughty Thoughts : So Much Sex

Wow! Can a book have too much sex? there even such a thing as too much sex? In my post Is it the Sex or the Story I said that I didn't read romance novels for the sex (scout's honour). Well, I just stepped out of that zone. I admitted in my last post Fifty Shades of WTF that I finally read a romance novel purely for the sex. My curiosity got the better of me. I'd heard the hype surrounding Fifty Shades of Grey, my cousin was reading it (and she never reads) so I thought, what the hell.

Boy was I blown away, and that I think is an understatement. I've never read an erotica before, my romance genre being historical, regency and paranormal, so I really have nothing to compare my experience to. Do all eroticas have this much sex? It wasn't graphic in the least, thankfully, but every other page had a sex scene. Anastasia and Christian did it every day, sometimes four times a day, every which way. Who has the time for all that? I was tired just reading about it, didn't they get tired doing it? Jeez.... I mean

Those two did it here and there, those two did it everywhere.
Yes they did it on a bar, they even did it in a car.
They didn't do it on a train, but they did it on a plane.
They went out sailing on The Grace, and on the sea they did embrace.
You'd think by now their ardour would douse, but alas, they did it in his parent's boathouse. 

The elevator ride, need I say more, definitely deserves another, encore.
He has no pool up in his tower, so they steamed up his grand shower.
On the bed, the wall, the door, they even did it on the floor.
He really really tried his best, and got her flat on his desk.

You want to know where else you say, they did it in his room of play.
There he tied her up with cable, and they did it on a table.
Speaking of being tied up, he used leather, rope, chains and cuffs.

Lordy lord the things they've done, would make an innocent maiden run.
For she lets him do real naughty things, why not when she got the ring.

Do I now feel like I've OD'ed on sex (the reading part - wink)? Hum...honestly, I got bored reading it. It was a little too much for me. The rest of the story was great. I enjoyed the emotional ups and downs. But OMG enough I guess for me...a book can have too much sex.

And that's my naughty thoughts on sex, sex, and more sex in romance novels.

Later Loveys

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  1. Great post as always :D I haven't read Fifty Shade of Grey, in fact I haven't read any erotica, but I can see its purpose. Great poem, very funny!

  2. Great article, but I couldn't help picture the characters from Green Eggs and Ham when I read the rhyme. Slightly off putting! lol

    1. Lol thanks...I was actually rhyming along that line...

  3. These two never got pregnant and had toddlers. Doubt they would have time then :) so was she on the pill? Seems to me nature turns it into an addictin when the sperm can't complete the mission. And isn't sex a reminder of our mortality and we need to pass the genes and katra?