Saturday 7 September 2013

My Naughty Thoughts : Sex Outside the Romance Novel

In my last post I posed the question as to whether or not we read romance novels for the sex or the story. Myself, I enjoy a good story. I find fulfillment whether or not the romance has sex, as long as I can connect with the characters and their story. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that the sex has left a mark on me.  It altered my perception of reality and what I should really have expected, outside the romance novel.

I was a naive, impressionable, virginal teenager when I began my foray into the romance genre. I kissed my first boy at the age of twelve and hadn't had my first sexual experience until I was eighteen. Somewhere in-between those years, after reading countless romance novels, I had given myself a false expectation of sex. Lesson learnt; virgins with over active imaginations shouldn't read romance novels.

What was I to think? with my innocent self. None of the heroines I have read about ever complained about the sex. Bad sex doesn't exist in romance land. Even when the hero was a virgin he magically seemed to know what to do to take the heroine to the heights of ecstasy. So forgive my naiveté for believing that sex was always good. No, not good, Tony the Tiger, grrrrrreat

I can't say I was disappointed when I finally took my nose out of the books. Just a little disillusioned. I thought after so much studying I would have been an A+ student. I thought my sex life would be like a romance novel, intense, fiery and a little dirty, but instead I found myself stiff and self-conscious.  It was a rocky road for me getting comfortable in my own skin. How do you go from being a virgin on one page to a freak in the sheets on another? After more than a decade I'm still not there yet.

Although I've never had bad sex, I've never had sex on the level of a really good romance novel either. Now am I talking about the physical bed play or the emotional connection that make for great sex. Does either even exist?

And am I setting up any future partner I'm with to fall short of my overly romanticized expectations? If he's not a strong, powerful man who's a force of nature in bed will he not measure up in my mind? Am I going to have something good, but still want for just a little bit more?

One more thing, have you ever noticed how in every novel fifteen minutes after they're done, the lovers are at it again. Is that even possible?

And that's my naughty thoughts on sex outside the romance novels.

Later Loveys

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10 comments:

  1. Well, all I can say is that thing fell in place when I met my husband. It is perfect!

    And the thing with starting all over again after 15 minutes - if it is done right the first time, neither of you should be in shape to start a second round 15 minutes later!

    ~Marit
    Happy Small Things

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    1. Lol...so why are they always going multiple rounds in novel...gave me the wrong idea....

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    2. No idea, I guess it just seems more passionate :D

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  2. LOL Fictional characters do have stamina! Yeah, I feel bad for men in real life because fictional men in romance novels are super human.

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  4. I'm pretty sure anyone that enjoys a good romance element holds men up to a little higher standard in our dreams...but I'd like to think I'm reasonable in real life and that I know men can't really read my every thought and desire like they seem to in book ;-)

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  5. Hi Illyanna, I nominated you for the Liebster Award. Check it out here

    ~Marit
    Happy Small Things

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  6. Nicely written! I like how you structure your thoughts

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